Living unhappy is not the way to live…take care of you!

It’s okay to take time for yourself. Mental health is so important. Sometimes sadness will grow and grow and no matter how hard you try to brush it under the rug…eventually there is no way you can’t trip over the huge hump of mess underneath it. Take care of yourself. Depending on how long you’ve let yourself get so down, it will take a while before you get to a good place. And when you find that good place, you have to continue to take care of yourself so you can not only stay good but to thrive beyond that. Depression is real. Yes, you can smile through all the hurt and pain. Yes, you can trust God through it all. And yes, you still can be overwhelmed. You can quote scriptures, praise God, thank God, trust God and have mustard seed faith….but even with all that you can still find yourself depressed (I am). You have to make up your mind to deal with all of the hurt…as far back as that may take you. You may even feel more hurt as you go through the pain but you must go through the pain and release it, forgive, and find your peace and joy. It’s your journey.

More people may walk away from you as you heal. And you may have to release people from your life in order to heal. You may have to take time just for you…a day, a week, or more. It doesn’t make you a bad person…it will make you healthier and stronger. There will be many tears cried, screams yelled, pillows perhaps even punched, being alone, taking many walks, talking to a therapist…whatever it takes you can do it. Face your past, your present, yourself…so that you can have a beautiful, brighter, healthier future.

I’m on my journey. I didn’t want to be but here I am, super broken, in so much pain…and I can’t take it anymore. I am finally doing this for me after almost 34 years. If I don’t, I know I won’t be any good to serve others fully the way that God intended for me to do. I’d be living still a double life. The life that smiles on the outside and is so broken down to nothing on the inside, other than a heart that is beating because God is still breathing life into this fragile body.
Be encouraged y’all. I’m not praying just for me but for so many that are like me. So many that were told they are strong and will be okay…and were told to suck it up. I am not able to do this anymore. I want to truly live happy, not just for a second, but for as long as I am blessed to live. I want my babies to know they don’t have to suck it up but to express themselves and to be their happiest. To love, serve, have peace and joy.
Smile and be a blessing!
~Nikita
God loves you so much. Hold on to that. He is with you and He won’t leave you.
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